Traveling with Mariska Hargitay: Balancing Fame and Family

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Mariska Hargitay is the daughter of 1950s screen idol, Jayne Mansfield, and former Mr. Universe, Mickey Hargitay. She has been acting since her teens and received her first big break on the hit TV series ER. She has starred in Law and Order: SVU since 1999. In 2002, Mariska started The Joyful Heart Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to helping victims of sexual assault heal—mind, body, and spirit. 

What does an Emmy-award winning, primetime television sensation have in common with SheBuysTravel readers?

Everything!

Mariska Hargitay, who portrays the strong-minded and persistent Detective Olivia Benson on NBC’s hit show Law & Order SVU, is an accomplished actress and mother. Like many other working moms, there are times when her job requires her to travel.

Since 1999, Mariska has had a pivotal role on SVU and has received many Emmies and Emmy nominations for Best Actress in a Primetime TV Drama.  Mariska met Peter Hermann on the set of SVU and they married in 2004.  Two years later, Mariska and Peter embarked upon the real life roles of a lifetime…as parents. They now have three kids. But when we first talked with her, she was a relatively new mom.

As SheBuysTravel sat down with Mariska for an interview in 2008, it became apparent that this traveling mom considered it a true privilege to be a mother, and that family is the number one priority in her life. Interacting with other moms she meets during her travels is a source of strength, knowledge, and comfort for this dynamic woman. At this point in her life, Mariska said she could not imagine traveling anywhere without her first-born son, August. She and husband Peter coordinate their work schedules to make sure the family can be together.

Mariska-hargitay
Photo credit: By Joella Marano from Manhattan, NY via Wikicommons

SheBuysTravel:  How do you guys deal with traveling? Is there something specific you two do?  Are there rules?

MARISKA: Rules? Peter and I are never apart for longer than two weeks.

SheBuysTravel: That’s one!

MARISKA:  That’s the number one rule. And we coordinate our work schedules so we’re always together. Peter just got his show [Cashmere Mafia], which shoots in NY. If the production was going to shoot out of town, he probably wouldn’t have done it just because we don’t want to separate the family.

SheBuysTravel:  So what do you do when you have to travel for work?

MARISKA:  I bring August; wherever I go, he goes.  He’s been traveling since he was six weeks old. He’s racked up some serious Frequent Flyer Miles.

SheBuysTravel: What are some of the unique challenges flying commercially?

MARISKA: The challenges have just begun. When August was a young baby, everything was so easy…All I did was either nurse him or give him bottles on take off and landing. The rest of the time he was content sleeping on my lap.

SheBuysTravel: And now that he’s mobile?

MARISKA: It’s not pretty. From the second we board, he wants to explore. We were recently on a nightmare flight from LA to New York. Because of extreme turbulence, the captain had the fasten seatbelt light on for almost the entire flight.  I didn’t know what to do. August was just miserable and did not understand why he couldn’t get up.  He’s such a curious and social little guy. I think he was going stir crazy sitting in a chair. That was hard. He cried a lot. I did, too.

SheBuysTravel:  What got you through the flight? Was there a toy or remedy you’d recommend?

MARISKA: Anything! Everything! We let him play with the earphones, and anything else we could get our hands on. So many times we pack all of these toys that should keep his attention, but in most cases he’s more interested in the stuff that he’s not supposed to play with like computers, pencils, cell phones, etc. Thank God for the reading lights in between the seats, our very kind and patient fellow passengers AND gracious flight attendants.

SheBuysTravel: Right!

MARISKA: I can’t say that I have any great secret.  I try to find new ways to make him laugh, and of course I’m sure people next to me are thinking, “This woman’s a freak.”  As a mom, I’ll do anything and have gone to great lengths to entertain my child. I’ve done more imitations of a monkey than I care to admit.

SheBuysTravel: Do you find it difficult when all eyes are on you on an airplane? Especially now being a mother?

MARISKA: As soon as we had a kid, we became so compassionate toward other people. You go from being that person who would get annoyed at the sound of a crying baby, hoping it would just go to sleep, to the one who is completely empathic toward the parents, hoping the baby is okay and wondering if there is anything you can do to help. Now, we’re all in the same boat. We’re on the same team, which is one of my favorite things about becoming a parent. I feel like I’m in the club now.

SheBuysTravel: How do you juggle celebrity with being August’s mom?

MARISKA:  I pride myself on being August’s mom. I think having a baby – especially one that’s happy – levels the playing field. Regardless of our careers, when it comes to being parents, we share the same profession. We are all in it together. I am always so grateful for all the moms I meet that are willing to share information. No matter how fancy our job or what people project onto you, all of a sudden you’re just a mommy and I love that.

SheBuysTravel:  So let’s talk a little bit about hotels.

MARISKA: I always go to the same hotels when I can. And I love it because everyone knows me and now the whole hotel knows August. They always have toys for him, a crib, a changing table, everything. The entire staff is so great. I am a creature of habit and I love routine, so going to the same places is important to me.  I like that feeling of safety, family, and familiarity.

SheBuysTravel: Do they baby proof the room for you?

MARISKA: Yes, one of the things I request is that they remove the normal glass table (or any low tables with sharp edges) from the room and replace it with a cushioned ottoman. My pediatrician told me that most toddler head injuries are caused by bumping into tables or tripping and falling onto them.

SheBuysTravel: Do you travel with a nanny?

MARISKA:  Sometimes. Since I usually travel for work, when Peter can’t come, I need the extra set of hands. I think that is one of my greatest luxuries. I’m always in awe when I see Moms, especially Moms with multiple children, doing it all by themselves. They are the heroes, the superstars. When I grow up I want to be just like them.

SheBuysTravel:  What are your must haves?

MARISKA:  What aren’t my must haves. Packing’s not my strength, so I always bring way too much stuff.  Too many clothes, toys, sleepers, blankets… too much of everything (I guess that’s what happens when you’re a first time Mom). Even packing his diapers takes a lot of room, a whole suitcase! And of course I have to color coordinate. She laughs.  The stroller, the formula, all the bottles, all the toys, the rain jackets, the just in case.

SheBuysTravel: Are you a big ‘just in case’ person?

MARISKA: Absolutely! We bring the medicines that you would need, just in case. Since teething has been the newest challenge, I’ll try to bring a lot of safe things he can bite on. Rattles, teething toys, little cell phones, etc.

SheBuysTravel: Do you ship ahead or do you literally bring it with you? From one mom to another… here’s a tip.  Bring one bag. Anything beyond that, stick it in a box and FedEx it 2 days before. You can confirm before you leave if it arrived and then relax. It’s just so much easier.

MARISKA:  That’s the ticket.  I’m going to do that on my next trip!

SheBuysTravel: When do you think that you guys will feel comfortable traveling without August?

MARISKA: Thankfully we haven’t had to think about that yet. I want to go to back to Africa, but we will wait until he’s old enough to enjoy it, too.  I think because I work 14 hours a day and my schedule is so crazy, we just want to enjoy every moment with him. There’s really nothing better than August.

SheBuysTravel:  Do you think having August has changed your work?

MARISKA:  Completely! August has changed everything! You know, I think because I became a mom later in life, everything in life means more. Every day is deeper and richer and more soulful. Life is more sacred with him. Therefore, work is so much more now because I understand and value everything a little bit more.

SheBuysTravel:  Was waiting the right thing for you?

MARISKA:  I believe that God has His timing. I think things happen when they’re meant to happen and you have to trust that. Without a doubt, along with Peter, August is the greatest thing that has happened to me. There really are no words for the emotions and the highs that I feel. I’ve never experienced anything like this before.

Kim Orlando, founder of SheBuysTravel, is a lifelong traveler, an entrepreneur and a sought-after social media and marketing consultant. She has made hundreds of appearances on TV and in digital and print media, sharing advice and tips built on decades of travel experiences. Hailing from the hills of Kentucky and taking her story to New York, Los Angeles, and beyond, Kim built an online platform, the original TravelingMom, that has reached millions of moms and empowered them to explore the world with their families. Today, TravelingMom has evolved into SheBuysTravel. Kim has been featured on “News Nation,” “Today,” “Good Morning America” and on numerous satellite media tours. She has contributed travel guidance to outlets including The Washington Post, Good Housekeeping, Forbes, the Wall Street Journal and more. (Read more about Kim’s media appearances here) Her travel mantra is simple: All travel counts. “You don’t have to go far. Leaving your home is travel,” Kim says. “Wherever you go, even just to the next town over, you can learn something new, see someone and something you haven’t seen before. “It’s good for the brain and good for the soul.” An epiphany in early parenthood started Kim on the journey that led to SheBuysTravel. She’d been a fan of a newsletter for women travelers, and she saw an opportunity. “I thought something like that for moms could be extraordinarily helpful,” she said. “I was traveling for work, traveling for fun, and I was looking for support.” That seed grew into the award-winning website TravelingMom, created as a resource for traveling families of all stripes. Today, TravelingMom has evolved into SheBuysTravel, with an expanded mission to serve women travelers at any stage of life. Millions of readers have visited the site for trip planning help, travel secrets, destination information and gear recommendations. What sets SheBuysTravel’s content apart, Kim says, is its foundation in real-world experience. “Our writers and editors have actually gone out there and done this stuff,” she says. “They’ve booked the flights, tried the tour, tested travel clothing, visited that new hot spot to see if it’s worth the hype. It’s all real.” Memorable Adventures A 2022 tour Kim guided to Bhutan was a particularly standout experience. “Bhutan sounds so exotic, of course,” she said. “But the part where my heart just glows and warms is thinking of the people we met – amazing women doing amazing things in Bhutan.” Their ranks included a former police officer whose ventures into food science helped mitigate food insecurity for residents of Bhutan’s highlands. Top Tips Planning for travel can be daunting, Kim acknowledges. “I always say: Go anyway. No trip is going to be perfect. There’s always going to be something you didn’t expect, something that doesn’t go the way you pictured or planned it. And that something is what’s going to make it a great trip.” And on a practical note: “Go early! Getting to the airport or hitting the road just an hour earlier relieves so much stress.” Kim’s Background Kim, a graduate of the University of Arizona’s Eller College of Management, holds degrees in finance and entrepreneurship and has deep experience in developing and running businesses. Her previous work includes developing and running communications workshops and overseeing document management for corporations. SheBuysTravel hits a sweet spot where Kim’s two loves of travel and entrepreneurship meet. “The longer I work in this field, I only want to do more,” she says. “I find the travel world so exciting – not just the trips, but the whole online world of travel. There are still so many opportunities.” The World Awaits “The ‘best trip ever’ probably won’t be the same for an empty-nester or mom of three versus a single woman celebrating a bachelorette party with her friends,” Kim says. “We want to keep it real for traveling women, no matter what their age, life stage, where they came from or where they’re going. “We want to inspire women to travel in any shape or form.” In her free time, Kim enjoys visiting her adult kids, creating trips and traveling with her BFFs to explore the world. Her most recent adventures can be found on InstagramFacebook and LinkedIn.
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